Never Give Sesshoumaru Sake
by Raven-2010
Summary: Wanting to see what Sessh is like drunk Inu gets a bottle of the strongest sake called Three Taiyoukai's Sake leaves it as an anonymous gift, Sessh drinks it becomes a holy terror & Inu's nightmare, updated extended 6/2011, tricks romance LEMON Sessh/Kag


**Disclaimer I do not own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ media do Rated R Lemon**

LOL thanks to all of you, updated extended June 8 2011 Sessh/Kag

**Never Give Sesshoumaru Sake**

**By Raven 2010 June 3 2010**

**Inuyasha's plot, three Taiyoukai's sake, the new Sesshoumaru**

Inuyasha always wanted to see what Sesshoumaru would be like if he drank liquor and got drunk, so he had what he thought was the perfect plan he decided to anonymously leave Sesshoumaru a bottle of the strongest sake he could find as a gift. The poor fool had no idea what he was starting or getting himself into he'd learn the hard way

"Hehehe, this is going to be fun" Inuyasha said to himself

As usual Sesshoumaru sat sleeping under his favorite tree with his back against the trunk, Inuyasha snuck in like the little weasel he was and left the bottle of sake. When Sesshoumaru woke up he found the sake next to him sniffed it then thought "Hmmm it's not poisoned and there's nothing in it "

"Mister high and mighty I'm so perfect, I never do wrong or drink. He ought to fuck up and make a real ass of himself now, and I get to watch the whole thing" Inuyasha mumbled

Sesshoumaru looked at the bottle "What the hell I've been a good boy, and it has been many years since I've had a taste" he sniffed again "Hm I know this sake well it is called Three Taiyoukai's Sake"

Sesshoumaru took his first sip holding it in his mouth for a few seconds to savor the taste of it then started slowly drinking the sake, after awhile he started to feel mellow happy and had the sudden urge to have some fun, smiling scheming and chuckling at the same time while numerous ideas ran through his mind

"Hehehe, drink up you fucker, the sooner you get drunk the sooner you'll fuck up and the fun will start" Inuyasha gloated

"I will have some fun, so many things to do so little time" Sesshoumaru said, while smiling evilly

Jaken who had just returned with Rin saw Sesshoumaru acting strangely, and shook with fear. Rin was about to call out to him and Jaken swiftly put a hand over her mouth and quickly pulled her back

"Silly girl don't you know when mi lord smiles someone is about to die? This time he's chuckling he's never done that before that means entire villages could be wiped out" fearful Jaken explained

Rin watched from behind the bushes where they were hiding observing her lord, while Jaken shivered in fear because of his lords strange behavior "Master Jaken if I didn't know any better I'd swear he was drunk" Rin stated

"Impossible Rin our lord doesn't drink"

"Oh yeah what's that over there? It looks like a sake bottle to me, observe master Jaken I'll show you"

"No Rin stay here don't do it girl" Jaken warned that kid is so dead he thought "Oh why do kids never listen? The shivering toad mumbled "Be they demon or human they never listen"

She went over to Sesshomaru "Good afternoon my lord" how are you feeling? Rin asked with a big smile

"Hello my little Rinsy winsy I'm finey winey hehehe, oh impy poo I can smell you, I know you are you there, yes you are Jaky, yes you are, stop hiding and get your little green ass out here, Sesshy wants to talk to you yes he do" Sesshoumaru said playfully

Jaken nervously came out and stood trembling "Jaken ye, ye yes mi lord" p, please don't kill me lord Sesshoumaru?

"Don't be ridiculous, you need to get your widdle beak polished" and when's the last time you had it sharpened it looks kind of dull? hehehe" Sesshoumaru teased

"Yes mi lord" the poor nervous imp replied

"Relax, we have to get you a girlfriend, your just tooo nervous. You're a good kid I'll keep ya" Sesshoumaru teased Jaken

"Gulp" was heard from the poor embarrassed toad, who's face was now red as an apple, yup it seems Janken can blush

Sesshoumaru rubbed the top of Rin's head you're a good kid I'll be back later, I gotta go do something" he said and took off at warp speed

"Lord Sesshoumaru is a playful drunk" Rin joked

"Yes but kami's help the one dumb enough to cross him" Jaken stated

**A hot kiss, fun time let the pranks begin**

Sesshoumaru picked up Inuyasha's scent and knew that he had been hiding there watching and thought "Little brother when will you ever learn?

Sesshoumaru then decided it was time to have some fun, Inuyasha was running toward the camp, Sesshoumaru let him get a good distance ahead of him stayed back and waited. As Sesshoumaru made his way to Inuyasha's camp he had the perfect scheme to screw with Inuyasha

"Little brother this is going to be fun" Sesshoumaru said

Sesshoumaru hid in a tree near them with his scent masked, the minute Inuyasha sat eating his ramen. Sesshoumaru like a hawk swooped down at warp speed landed in front of Kagome, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deep

Kagome thought "Holy crap tongue he's hot" she was aroused and he could smell it

She kissed him back hungrily and let her tongue roam over his loving the taste of him, and felt warm all over. After a while Sesshoumaru released her, Kagome felt weak in then went down on her knees she would have to relieve herself later on Inuyasha was about to give chase

"**Sit" **Kagome said Sesshoumaru was gone

"Kagome what the fuck? he tried to kill you in the past, now the bastard kisses you and you let him and like it" you liked it didn't you?

"Well what the hell Inuyasha the first day we met you tried to kill me" remember? And I forgave you, and besides he's fucking hot. Remember you + Kikyo = eeeeew hehehe, so you have no say in this" Kagome replied and laughed

"Oh give me a fucking break" pleeease? Inuyasha wise cracked

"Inu baby do ya think maybe you give me a break? It's was just one little kissy wissy" Kagome taunted

"Oh and what next just one little fucky wucky? Inuyasha needled

"Ooooooo and I bet he's really hung to" Kagome said to gripe Inuyasha

"Ewww, damn Kagome he's my brother, I don't want to hear or think about another guys thing, especially my own brothers"

"The miko is a raunchy one, who would have thought that lay beneath her innocent appearance" Sesshoumaru said to himself

"Hehehe, oh my god's for the love of all the kami's stop you two, I can't take any more I'm dying my stomach I'm gonna die" a lying on her back Sango gasped out between laughs

"I, I, I second that" Miroku added

"Ah shut up sissys" Inuyasha said

"Awww come on Inujealous be a good puppy" Miroku got out "Are you suffering from a little thing called penis envy? He ragged

"Up yours and around the corner" Inuyasha ground out

"Little brother now your ass is mine" Sesshoumaru said to himself

Later that night Sesshoumaru waited as they all bedded down for the night he decided he'd get Inuyasha with a two in one prank. While Inuyasha was sleeping heavily Sesshoumaru snuck in put a powder that causes itching on him, then with a magic cloth he had wrapped around his hand to keep it from burning him he slipped tetsuseiga out of it's sheath gently and slowly, then formed his cloud under his feet and flew off fast

The next morning the group woke up Inuyasha began yelling "Where the hell's my damn sword? oh _**Son of a" **_

"What's wrong? Miroku asked

Inuyasha began scratching and dancing around trying to scratch all the itches at once, and faster than he could blink he felt the neck of his haori being pulled back, it was Sesshoumaru who dropped a very large pissed off skunk down his back

"Oh, oh shame on you looks like somebody forgot to take a bath" what's it been 2 weeks now? Kagome joked to ball bust Inuyasha

Inuyasha was attacking all the itches with his claws trying to rid himself of it

"Sesshoumaru you wench I'll kill you for this"

"Little brother you shouldn't call yourself a wench it really is un manly" do you truly want to be a female? If so I can make that happen for you with one sword swipe just stand still" Sesshoumaru taunted

"Sessbitchmaru you fucking cunt" now you die

Inuyasha finally got the skunk out and was about to fight with Sesshoumaru

and heard _**little sis needs a bath do da, do da, she smells so ripe and rank no one can stand the stank, **__**we'll wash her **_

_**high we'll wash her down below and when we're done she'll smell good don't you know" **_Sesshoumaru sang

"Let's see ya sing with not dick bastard" Inuyasha threatened

"No, no, no I don't think so little slow bro" Sesshoumaru retorted

Next Inuyasha was picked up flown away and dropped into a hot spring the itch stopped but the skunk smell stayed, after a few minutes he saw his clothes and body turning bright orange, Sesshoumaru had put dye in the hot spring earlier Inuyasha jumped out to chase his brother Sesshoumaru ran a bit then Inuyasha hit a rope with his foot and was pulled up into a net in a tree

Sesshoumaru taunted him waving the tetsuseiga "Ha, ha, ha lady Inuskunk I dare you to come and get your sword"

Inuyasha cut the net with his claws and escaped. Sesshoumaru threw the sword down and took off laughing saying as he was leaving "Sessshmara you coward get back here and take it like the little rat bastard you are"

"Inuweasel is so full of sass he's dull as dirty brass and he has no class so she can kiss my royal ass" Sesshoumaru taunted

"Sesshoumaru is a shrew I'm gonna kick his ass till it's black and blue" Inuyasha retorted

"Kindly oil your lips before you pucker up and kiss my ass, I don't want to get chafed" Sesshoumaru needled

Meanwhile back at the camp Jaken and Rin appeared looking for Sesshoumaru, curious Miroku asked them if they had any idea what had gotten into Sesshoumaru

"We returned yesterday afternoon and found our lord with an empty sake bottle acting strangely playful like a child" Jaken explained

"Ah ha Inuyasha" or should I say Stupidyasha? Miroku said

"What is he crazy? Jaken replied

"Yes Jaken he is and that would explain a lot, I'm only a simple monk and even I know you should never give a Taiyoukai sake or any liquor because they stay drunk for 3 days after" Miroku explained

Inuyasha returned Miroku and Sango asked "What the hell did you do?

"And why are you orange? Asked Kagome

"What I just got back and you guys are on my back already? I didn't do nothing, and Sesshoumaru dropped me in a hot spring full of dye" Inuyasha answered feigning innocence

"Your lying Sesshoumaru + sake = terror and lots of fun for him, you gave your brother sake" didn't you? Miroku inquired

"What if I did? What's it to you? Inuyasha said flippantly

"You idiot you never give a Taiyoukai liquor because not only do they stay drunk for 3 days after, they change and become uninhibited" Sango stated

"And it also causes them to do things they want to do but normally hold back from doing, like Sesshoumaru kissing Kagome, and pulling pranks on you for example" Miroku explained

"So" aw are you worried that the big bad taiyoukai can't handle it? Inuyasha retorted

"Jaken do you have the sake bottle that Sesshoumaru was drinking from with you? Miroku asked

"Yes" but what good will that do? Jaken said then handed Miroku the bottle

Miroku took the bottle looked at it then took a good long sniff, the next before Inuyasha knew what was happening he was smacked upside the head by a very pissed off monk

"Inuyasha what the fuck is wrong with you? Three Taiyoukai's Sake of all the sake's there are you gave Sesshoumaru Three Taiyoukai's Sake? Miroku scolded

"Yeah so bastard will be drunk for a couple of days, then right back to his old bitchy self again like nothing happened after it wears off"

"No you stupid dick this way worse, Three Taiyoukai's Sake unlike regular sake lasts for days" Miroku told him

"How many days are we talking about here? Inuyasha questioned

"7 days or more even up to three weeks, and since Sesshoumaru drank a whole bottle it'll be 3 weeks maybe more"

"Oh fuck" Inuyasha whined

"Congratulations numb nuts" Sango teased

"Nice work Inuyasha" Kagome ragged "Drunk Sesshy is fun"

"Ah so I fucked up get off my back" Inuyasha snapped "And what the hell do you mean drunk Sesshy is fun wench?

"Just what I said" Kagome replied "Or are you deaf, as well dumb?

"Ok Inuyasha but your Sesshoumaru's main and from what I can see prime target so have fun, it's gonna be one hell of a long ride" Miroku said smiling evilly

"Oh double fuck" Inuyasha replied "Why me, why cant I ever have a little fun?

"Because you never choose normal or safe fun" Sango said

**The best sleep ever, new girl**

That night while everyone slept Sesshoumaru snuck in to give Inuyasha his newest gift he blew a sleeping powder in Inuyasha's face making sure he would sleep heavily. The sleeping powder also had an extra ingredient in it that Inuyasha would learn the affects of the following morning when he woke up

Sesshoumaru took his hiding place up on the branch of a huge tree and drifted off to sleep he knew Inuyasha's big mouth would wake him in the morning. The next morning everyone was awoken by an ear piercing scream, Sesshoumaru opened his eyes wearing a big grin when the others went to

"This is going to be my best morning ever" Sesshoumaru said, smiling evilly

There was Inuyasha in a hole buried up to his neck the first noticeable thing was his new curly hair. Sango and Miroku were about to dig him out, when Kirrara transformed into her large size and dug him out once out Inuyasha dusted himself off

After he was done getting the dust out of his clothes the startling discovery was made "Oh no, no, no, no, no it can't be, tits I've got tits, oh holy fuck I have a pussy to I lost my dick" why me? Inuyasha whined after feeling his chest and crotch

"Inuyasha your beautiful" Miroku said then pretended he was going to grab his but "Will you marry me? He teased

"Mirokuuuuu you son of a bitch try it and lose that fucking hand" Inuyasha said flexing his claws

"Ooooo Sango?

"Yes Kagome?

"Well I was thinking now that inuyasha is a girl we could share the hot spring together, talk about girl things, do each others hair and other things, just look at the curls in his hair love it" Kagome said all lovey dovey

"Oh and Kags I almost forgot we're gonna have to teach him I mean her all about that time of the month, and oh my gosh and how to avoid getting pregnant" Sango said all to happily

Sesshoumaru fell of the tree branch and landed flat on his cute little ass laughing so hard he almost peed his hakama, he wound up laying flat on his back rolling in fits of laughter unable stand

"Eeeeeeeee do hair, time of the month, pregnant. You stay away from me you women are all nuts" Inuyasha screeched then took of like a bat out of a hell "I hate being a girl"

"Sango and Kagome cracked up shit I just love fucking with Inuyasha" Sango said

"Poor Inuyasha I love screwing with his head" Kagome replied

"You women are beyond evil vicious and sadistic ,I love you" Miroku praised

"Oh god's do hair time of the month keep from getting pregnant" Sesshoumaru repeated to himself while stomping his foot on the ground "They're positively wicked"

"Hey do you think Inuyasha will recover from us yanking his chain? Sango asked

"I think after a few days the poor baby should come around, and man only Sesshoumaru could pull such an exquisite prank like that" Kagome praised "Inuyasha's not here so I can tell you, Sango Sesshoumaru is one hot kisser, and sooo good with his tongue"

"Why Kagsy you little letch"

"So the miko is still thinking about our kiss, hmmm" Sesshoumaru thought

**Love, seduction, and mating**

A few days later even though he tried hard to stay awake and keep watch Inuyasha lost the battle and fell asleep. Sesshoumaru snuck in and blew a magic sleep powder into the faces of Inuyasha and his companions all except for Kagome so they wouldn't wake up and interfere with what he was about to do next

"And now little miko" Sesshoumaru thought

Kagome had decided to sleep kind of far away from the others that night. Seshoumaru went over to Kagome put up a sight and sound proof barrier and perched himself over her he started he kissed her lips then slowly began kissing her neck

"My miko" he said his hot breath caressing her neck

"Sesshoumaru if only this were real and not just another dream as it is every night" Kagome moaned in her sleep

"So you dream about me" he said while kissing her cheeks and inhaling her scent "I'm called killing perfection and I have an erection" he joked in his mind

She was still asleep Sesshoumaru started kissing her passionately, as she awoke to find his lips on hers she realized it wasn't a dream. She put her arms around him and kissed him back then plunged her tongue into his mouth, while he thrust his hips into her allowing her to feel his hardened length and it aroused her even more

Sesshoumaru continued to deepen the kiss, she immediately became so aroused she ached and arched up into him, he moved his hands under her body she wrapped her legs around the back of his legs and began to thrust up into him showing him her need

"Sesshoumaru yes" she moaned then gulped

"Don't worry I have put them all into a deep sleep with sleeping powder, we're far away and I put up a barrier no one can see or hear us" he said

"Sesshoumaru you don't know what you do to me. I feel like I am going to lose my mind" Kagome said then kissed and nipped his neck

"Damn woman you make me ache" he said "Would you like to come with me?

"Yes I need you now" please Sesshoumaru I cant wait it hurts?

"Then I will cure you of your pain"

**Lemon starts**

He picked her up bridal style, formed his orb and flew off to his castle at warp speed., while inside the orb their hands explored each others bodies. When they arrived at his castle he entered through the window of his bed chamber, walked over to and gently set her on her in front of his bed his bed

"Sesshoumaru I love you"

"And I you koishi" he replied, she ran her hands over his body and he hers

After their hands slowly explored each others heated bodies, she pushed him down onto the bed "Sesshoumaru?

"Hmm?

"We have had enough foreplay back at the camp"

"Yes Gome but now I wish to lavish you"

"Hah? what?

He turned her on her back moved down, and before she knew what hit her he was working her jewel with his tongue, she writhed beneath him. He stopped looked up at her with a lecherous smile that would have made Miroku himself proud

"That's what I mean by lavishing you, you are very tasty indeed" he said

"Sesshoumaru?

"Yes? Enough lavishing, I want pork now" she teased

"Kagome removed his haori kissed licked and nipped his chest, he relieved her of her kimono, and gently worshiped her breasts with his lips teeth and tougue "Wow you look like a god" she said

"And you a goddess my Gome"

When he dropped his hakama she gulped then her heart almost stopped when she saw the size of his manhood, is this enough pork for you my dear? Sesshoumaru teased

"That's not a penis it's a cannon" she taunted

"Yes koi and it belongs to you now"

He mounted Kagome then gently entered her with one gently push her virginity was gone, he awaited a scream from her but it never came instead the second he was in up to the hilt her cavern clinched tightly around him and she came hard immediately

"_**Sesshoumaru yesssss" **_she called out after that first, and the releases that followed it

"That's it I love it when you scream my name"

"Sesshoumaru don't stop I want more"

"God's Kagome" he panted out "You feel better then I imagined"

When the last one came _**Kagome" **_

"Gods, _**Sesshoumaruuu" **_

His eyes glowed, fangs elongated then he bit her neck reveling in the taste of her blood as it danced across his tongue. She instantly became an Inu youkai and marked him and their fangs stayed locked onto each others necks until after their longer normal then releases were completed

When Sesshoumaru and Kagome woke in the morning she teasingly said "You know Sessh I think Maru and I are going to be the best of friends"

"Who is this Maru? and am I going to have to kill him?

"Sesshy you really want to know who Maru is?

"Yes woman, now cease your damn games and tell me"

"Sesshoumaru your jealous"

"I am Inu what did you expect" now you will tell me of who this Maru you speak of is"

"Do you promise you wont kill him" Kagome said feigning worry

"Kagomeee"

"Ok Sessexymaru" she quickly reached over took hold of his length and said "Sesshoumaru this is Maru, Maru this is Sesshoumaru"

"Well then it's time for Maru to meet Suki" and he was inside her making her scream his name again

"Yes Sesshoumaru harder"

"As you and Suki wish" he teased with a devious grin, they pleasured each other for many long passion filled hours

**Lemon ends **

The next morning Inuyasha awoke tied naked except for his under garments to a tree Miroku untied him then he found his clothes tied in knots and a scroll written on it was a message

_**Little brother those are the last pranks I will ever pull on you, the reason all of you except for Kagome slept so heavily is because I used a magic sleeping powder on you to prevent your interference **_

_**Kagome is with me, and my miko has told me that she loves me and wishes to be mine forever, and I'm more than happy to have her. Kagome means far more to me then Tetsuseiga, and will always be first above all else**_

_**By the time you read this we will have already been mated, and marked each other. Don't worry she will always be loved and well taken care of, you have my word of honor. So do not come for or try to take her away, I will allow her friends to come and visit her after we've had some time alone **_

_**Lord Sesshoumaru Taisho of the western lands**_

After Inuyasha read the scroll he sat speechless with a look of pure shock on his face "Wow" Inuyasha exclaimed

Then Miroku read the scroll Miroku asked "Well my friend have you learned anything?

"Yeah never give Sesshoumaru sake" Inuyasha said


End file.
